Laugh it out … 17

August 30, 2007

There was this little child living with a big family and had stammering and trouble in spelling words. His good mother had made him to tell ‘sing’ for ‘sue,sue’. Sue = Urge to urinate in Hindi.

All went well till holidays and the kid with its elder sister went to village to visit their grand parents. At the dead of the night the kid wanted to go to bathroom and woke up its grand dad.

Child: Ramu thatha I want to sing.

Ramu: No my child, its night now. Go to sleep and morning you can sing.

Child: No thatha, its urgent. I have to sing

Ramu: Turn that side and sleep, you dont have to sing now.

Child: I will cry, if I can not sing now…its urgent.

Ramu: OK,ok… sing but dont wake up the whole world. Sing with very little noise into my ears.

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BESCOM and Notices

August 29, 2007

I read the following in todays newspaper

Notice:

There would be no power supply between 11am to 4pm in the following parts – basavanagudi, tata silk farm, TR nagar, kathriguppe and sorrounding areas.

How would it be for BESCOM if I (consumer) gave a notice in newspaper like this

Notice:

There would be no payment of bills between 10th and 15th of this month by all consumers  in the following parts of Bangalore viz basavanagudi, tata silk farm, TR nagar, kathriguppe and sorrounding areas.

Understood that preventive maintainence is more important but the same area getting notice every saturday / sunday for alternate weeks is too much isnt it?


Laugh it out … 16

August 28, 2007

The junior theif was on training and went out regularly to watch out for opportunities at night. One day both the senior and junior sighted a open window and got into the house. Skillfully they managed to break into the almirah and were at the last leg of polishing off all the ornaments from the pooja room and as destiny would have it, junior stumbled and a silver bowl fell with a great thud to ground and awoke the old lady of the hosue sleeping near the pooja room.

Who is that – she asked.

Meow, meow said the senior theif.

The lady turned sides and fell asleep and scolding the junior both made away with their loot and the junior learnt a valuble lesson of trade.

After considerable amount of training junior started off on his own in a new area. As destiny would have it he got into similar trouble by dropping a vessel in kitchen this time. The land lady again asked “who is that”.

Junior replied “its only a cat”.

Junior is now counting the bars as well as the beatings given by the local people till day light.


Laugh it out … 15

August 27, 2007

Eat to your hearts content. Bill?? Dont worry your son will pay it!

So went the proclomation at a restaurant and gunda was all grins and sat with a thump on the chair and ordered a kings lunch.

At the end of the sumuptous lunch, came the regular bill in 4 digits. A Smiling gunda, pointed to the board outside and said “My son will pay it”.

Equally amused waiter politely said “Offcourse sir. Your bill will be paid by your son but this is your fathers bill”.


Laugh it out … 14

August 23, 2007

Here is a spoof of a very old and well known story.

There is an IT guy who takes off from hectic work schedule to a jungle with full flora and funa for hiking and enjoying the nature. He was holding hand in hand and romantically looking into his wife eyes, walking in the slush grass when abruptly his wife fell into a well which was not covered.

The IT guy shouted F1 (Help) but no avail. He sat cross legged as taught in his weekend yoga sessions and prayed to god. Alas, God who just heard the cries came in front of the IT guy and asked what happened. The IT guy blurted his wife had fallen into the well and he coudnt live without her.

God, went personally down and brought out a beautifull looking Aishwaraya rai and asked – is this your wife? The IT guy in a blink said “NO”.

God, again dived and brought out a young Laura dutta and asked – is this your wife. The IT guy thought and said “Yes…yes…thanks for saving her life”.

God was angry and puzzled. He asked the IT guy – “I was happy you told me the truth first time but what is the logic of telling lies next?”

The IT guy reasoned and said “Had I said this is not my wife, you would have gone down, brought my wife up and for the truthfullness would have let me live with all the three of them just like with the wood cutters golden,silver and iron axe – but its impossible to live with one wife – how to live with 3 of them where 2 of them are stars?”

With a flash God disappeared laughing.


Laugh it out … 13

August 10, 2007

In that red indian settlement the witch doctor was quite popular – so much that chiefs of surrounding villages used to visit and get cured. On one such occassion one of the chieftens sent his aide to get a cure for constipation.

The witch doctor woke up from the slumber and asked the aide what was his problem. He said Big chief no shit. The witch doctor smiled despite wrinkles on his face and handed over a vail of medicinal pills and said ‘One at sun up, one at sun down, meet me next full moon’.

The chief took the medicine on first day – there was no relief, he doubled the dose on third day no relief, in desperation he emptied the vail on 5th day into his mouth.

Next full moon, the witch doctor did not see the aide whom he had given medicine previous week and summoned him. He asked for results. The aide replied ‘Big shit no chief’.


Laugh it out … 12

August 9, 2007

When I was resting for little more than a week from a very bad back strain – curtousy bad seating posture, the helpfull neighbourhood preist asked me to chant the Mrthunjaya manthra for better effects.

At evening with great effort sat up and called Junior to also recite the manthra along with me, pat came the replay ‘I dont have back strain problems,you do it’.