Laught it out…. 30

Once a man went to a Veterinary Doctor in India and said:

Doctor I have come on vacation for a month so that I can get myself treated

fully within this period.

Doctor: I think you should go to the Doctor opposite to my clinic,

see that board.

Man: No, Doctor, I have come to you only

Doctor: But, gentleman I am a Veterinary Doctor. I am an animal

specialist. I do not treat human beings.

Man: I know, Doctor very well and that is why I have come to you only…

Doctor: I can not, because you speak like me, think like me, talk

like me which means you are a human being and not an animal.

Man: I know I am a human but litsen to my complaints first:

Doctor: OK. Tell me.

Man:

I sleep vigilantly like a dog thinking about my work load whole night.

I get up in the morning like a horse

I go to work running like a deer

I work all the day like a donkey

I run around for 11 months like a bull without any holiday.

I wag my tail in front of all my bosses

I play with my children like a monkey if I get time.

I am like a rabbit before my wife

Doctor: are you a Software Engineer?

Man: Yes

Doctor: Instead of telling this long history you should have told me

in the begining itself that you are are an engineer.

Come on man, no one can treat you better than me.

Laugh it out …………..29

A man wanted to buy his son a parrot as a birthday present.
The next day he went to the pet shop and saw three identical parrots in
a cage.

He asked the clerk, ‘how much for the parrot on the right?

The owner said it was Rs. 2500.
‘Rs. 2500.’, the man said. ‘Well what does he do?
‘He knows how to use all of the functions of Microsoft
Office 2000, responds the clerk.
He can do all of your spreadsheets and type all of your
letters.’

The man then asked what the second parrot cost.
The clerk replied, Rs. 5000, but he not only knows Office 2000,

but is an expert computer programmer.

Finally, the man inquired about the cost of the last
parrot. The clerk replied, ‘Rs. 10,000.’
Curious as to how a bird can cost Rs. 10,000, the man asked what this
bird’s specialty was.
The clerk replies, ‘Well to be honest I haven’t seen him do anything.

Mahabharat 2050…. Jai ektha kapoor!!

The much awaited magnum opus from ektha’s stable was showcased yesterday on one of the channels. Having a good knowledge of not only the original epic but also ekthas way of spreading the same was something i could not guess very much.

Before we begin dissecting the show, my due apologies to Maharishi vedavysa et all for the cruel descriptions.

If one follows kannada movies, we have a hero jaggesh – the navarasa nayaka. This means the actor can give splendid performences (?) in the 9 different emotions / aspects a person can possibly depict in a role/ roles as applicable.

The reason why we talk of jageesh here is because, the epic orginally has all the different emotions in different hues,shades,colours, vibrations etc which can be enjoyed, understood. Ektha is popular for her flashback – so much, the original script is forgotton, hystrinics, revenge – woman to woman variety.

The first episode was entirely depicted in a very cruel sattaire – barring a crying vedhavyasa at the end whom Lord bramha consoles. The episode mainly consisted of the pandavas loosing everything, Draupadhi being dragged to central stage, attempt to de-robe her and Lord krishna saving her.

Draupadhi was quite modern with her dress and if you didnt throw a soft porn gyration song in lines of bollywood with dhuryodhan – it was missing with all her mannerisums. Bheem was nicely picturised showing his agony and anger – the camera work was just great with a low closeup. The same was used on all other brothers which was not required.

All the warriors looked as if they decended from some modern sci-fi including Arjun who was wielding an iron bow!! Took me back to the basics taught about archery in discovery channel recently.

Why ektha decided to clad all the pandavas in black was haunting me through out but when Draupadhi called out for ‘sakha’ ( intelligent folks have to understand this as krishna), horror of horror, a nirma soap advertisement wheel came from some where and generated the required red colour saree – man was that china silk?

Draupadhi then breaks into ekthas trade mark hystronics and chastises every man on earth!!!

There are some plus points too. The sound track done on DTS is superb and a treat to ears. If you have the same, its enjoyable on home theatre systems. If sagar had to shoot some fireworks in closeup and show it for every fight, ektha has the modern software to do much more and irritate the viewers. The camara work is excellent who shows the anger of bheemasena using the sharp edges of his mace!

Characterisation plays a very important role in epics of this nature and ektha forgot this i suppose – maybe purposefully. None of the characters are recognizable unless they are addressed. They all are dressed, look and talk similarly!!

Was trying to help my junior understand the epic better using visual medium but knowing the future with ekthas methodology – its better junior doesnt learn such things!!

Laugh it out …….28

During a visit to the mental asylum,a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.

“Well,” said the Director, “we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon,a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.”

“Oh, I understand,” said the visitor. “A normal person would use the bucket because it’s bigger than the spoon or the teacup.”

“No.” said the Director, “A normal person would pull the plug.

Do you want a bed near the window?”

Laugh it out 27….

SNIPPET 1

Seen written on a wall by a pastor.

God never fails.

 A speculator wrote just below that ‘Ask him to try trading in Nifty futures’.”

SNIPPET 2

A SMS circulated around says ‘Finance minister is considering inclusion of SENSEX and NIFTY as part of WPI ( wholesale Price Index) so that it cools of the high inflation numbers’