Just yesterday our correspondent Raju connectionwala was tracking some political bigwigs who were dishing out their fares for the 5 year regulation elections. Since Mr Rajcal Gandhi hit the trails, he has been blazing with pearls of wisdom – so much so that nobody could digest the hard facts. Our Connectionwala or any of the other media persons could get anywhere near Rajcal as he may be misquouted or quoted out of context.
Our connectionwala decided to hit the day closure with a good nightcap and their to his utter astonishment he met Mr rajcal – also nursing a drink. Here is an excerpt of what transpired between those two before they were so drunk high – neither it could be quoted nor reported.
Conn: Sab, good evening. Care for a smoke?
G: Why not young man? Why not? Sit with me here. Orders a large chicken tikka and smiles his pearly 32’s – So which company do you work for?
Conn: Sab – am a journalist. Care to answer a few doubts in mind?
G: Laughing – You guys dont stop at even the graveyard do you?OK shoot but no quotes.
Conn: Absolutely sir. This is for my troubled concience only.
Conn: Do you still remember that your family was responsible for partioning Pakistan? How true is this?
G: Check the history, it was my grand ma who taught those bastards a lesson or two but these mongerals turn back on us now by training ISI jokers.
Conn: True but do you understand the implications of this statement? So many people died, still suffering…
G: Offcourse I stand behind my statement. Didnt indian jawans die in the battle for a good name of our dynasty?
Conn: You mean you agree to the dynasty rule too!!
G: Yes, We have been installing puppet shows from time immortal. We also take pride in having established corruption – remember Menon who has the credit of having started the institution of corruption during china wars? Why cry foul about corruption now. My grand mother allways accepted this fact proudly and stated “corruption exists everywhere in this world, in small percentages”. My father went ahead and published this fact in assembly by stating “from every rupee only 13 paisa reaches the actual needy”.
Conn: (Gulping his drink quickly) , You are really going great guns sir. They are also projecting you as the next CM of UP is that true?
G: (smirking) thats a bygone conclusion dear. Am only interested in the PM seat but these jokers who plan my growth are taking it slow. Dont worry with in next 2 years I will be driving this country.
Conn: (Adding Ice to his martini) What would be your priorities after becoming PM since its already there in absolute numbers?
G: Thats what I like in a journalist – forward looking questions. Your types usually stick to just mundane issues like corruption, killings etc. OK. I need to think about it a lot. Also my party workers are thinking a lot. I am preparing a roll muster so that we can chart out how much money each person gets.
Conn: Taken aback – More details sir…
G: Shh.. dont tell anybody but we are planning to set up Special Economic Zones (SEZ) for foreigners. We will sell the land cheap to them and sell all services at premium. For example land is only 12 lachs per bigha after mandatory cuts for all civil servents. But electricity, water, sewerage treatement, roads etc come at triple rates for these people.
Conn: But what about poor farmers? will they give lands?
G: We have a master plan. We make farmers as sleeping partners and elect them to local bodies. A person without work is like a devil or something like that.
G: We support the Government initiative for infusing foregin money into Indian economy.
Conn: But what about the corruption money?
G: Offcourse, this money flows out to phoren countries like St kitts, switzerland, uncle Q’s account etc.
Conn: Uncle Q – thats interesting. How much money did your family make on it?
G: !@@% ( some unprintable words and 4th vodka completed here)
Conn: OK… i know i should not have asked. Well, have a good knight! hic.