And the award goes too…

The auto transport corporation had recently launched thier inagural cermoney which is inititated to award the best class of vehicles in the industry for promoting pollution. Here is the excerpts of the same including the winning classes.

The chairman of the first elected body Mr Polluramasami was proud and with tears in his eyes after gulping the fake biselari mineral water, spoke thus –

“Ladies and gentlemen – its my honour and best wishes of my forefathers who are in the oil pilfirage business from 1945 that I am proud again to announce the achievements and awards of year 2007”

Though India is still a developing country ( it has remained, will remain and will allways remain so) and hence its contribution to global warming is still less compared to all the developed nations. While America and Europe contribute in many ways other than road pollution like heating at winter we are unable to compete and contribute towards making India a true number 1 in this aspect.

I use this podium to ask humbly all the transport members, congress affiliates and comman civilians to raise up to this occassion and take a oath that India shall raise above in the pollution graphs in this world.

(Secretary babu runs and tells something in his ears)

Due to shortage of time we, are proud to announce the following category of road users as winners and award the best polluting category vehicle awards as follows.

Transport – Commercial category

The best polluting vehicle is the sand lorry driven at low speeds, not maintained at all, frequent break downs giving the civic users of road – general headaches and contributing to all round development of traffic jams – here we call upon Mr Sandy contractor to recive the golden crow on behalf of the industry.

( clap, clap, clap)

Transport – Public Nueicense category

The best polluting vehicle in this category is the Bangalore Garbage collection vans/association. These good folks apart from spreading the garbage equally around the city at all hours do their due by driving the garbage truck in one-ways etc ensuring traffic jams and are the unquestioned lords of their kingdom. By resorting to snap strikes, they have rised their barrier of service many notches above noses. A delegation of belgium was recently here to study the use of these trucks for local ansthetic effects on animals. Here is the brass crow award for this category and I please call upon Mr DirtyTrickwallah to accept the honour on hehalf of the association.

( clap, clap, clap)

Transport – Civilian Nonsence category

The undivided king of this category is the Bangalore transport corporation. Am proud to announce this award continiously for the 3rd year since road congress has conferred the same award 2 times (because road congress is only 2 year old association otherwise they have a track record of 35 years!). Apart from transporting packeged human beings inside, outside and someplace even on top – the road transport busses pollute the most. With high indexes of laziness in its clan and non serviced, non cleaned busses – they are undivided kings of the category. It makes me proud to place on record that despite management and public insistence on using clean fuels, the drivers association have withstood these changes and continued in the contribution of the society. I please call upon Mr Dategir Shariff to take this bronze crow award on behalf of the transport corporation workers assoctiaton.

( clap, clap, clap)

Transport – Cheap joke category

Humble it may look but we normally do not even notice these vehicles. They are the tricycle type autos. We all know and are proud to announce the autorickshaw drivers were the pioneers in pollution and have been experimenting right from kerosene to jet fuel and have produced various types of fumes which even the RTO has been unable to digest or detect. Here we call upon Mr LeftIsRightKrishna alias jedarahalli krish to take the award on behalf of kannada mathe.

( clap, clap, clap)

Transport – Hip dancing category

The last crow award goes to this growing category of drivers who have taken pollution to new levels by combining a new form of hip swaying, rule breaking and raising the noise pollution levels to great levels – they are the 2 wheeler clubs.

I call upon Mr silencetwikersami to acccept this humble award and wish them more success in the coming years.

Here we close this great movement with a special mention of the budding class of vehicle user called the 4 wheeled car driver – they have been using petrol on a pure basis so that the delicate electronic engines are not distrubed – never though they contribute in the invisible band of pollution with the regular effects.

Hope you have some other suggestions and awards for the next years road show. Thanks.

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11 Responses to And the award goes too…

  1. Hahahahahaah

    There cant be a better storm to washaway the bloooos.

    This is the ultimate stuff man… oh! Im still on the floor!! ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ˜›

  2. usha says:

    Too good mohan…

    I am imagining thoses auto guyz, lorry wallah’s accepting the awards….

    and the program sponsered by Zee group :d and coverage in all channels … ha haa

  3. rk says:

    outrightly hilarious mohan! tragic-comedy stuff.
    superb commentary on the sorry state of affairs.

    The best polluting vehicle in this category is the Bangalore Garbage collection vans/association. These good folks apart from spreading the garbage equally around the city at all hours do their due by driving the garbage truck in one-ways etc ensuring traffic jams and are the unquestioned lords of their kingdom.

    highlight of the post. biddh-biddh nagtha idini….and nakk-nakk beelthidini!

  4. neel3 says:

    Nammoralli hangenilla-
    garbagenavaru school timenalle correctaagi bundu makkaLigella vaasne-germs chendaagi hunchtaaro…

    FUn taastic post! ๐Ÿ™‚

  5. Neel3,
    Same story with different methodology ๐Ÿ™‚ Thanks.

    Rk,Usha
    Glad to hear that. Thanks

    Srik,
    ๐Ÿ™‚ So the intension has been served. Thanks.

  6. greatunknown says:

    Mohan… what’s the reason for the inactivity on your blog???
    Is all well???

  7. neel3 says:

    Welcome back from the break. I am sure you are refreshed . We are waiting !

  8. praneshachar says:

    late agi odidru adara nagebana sariyagi tatttide nakku nakku bidde
    bidd biidd bidd nakke what a great creativity in humour hats off to you mohan for wonderful and hilarious post keep going laughing chatting

  9. GreatunKnown,
    All is well and am little unwell. But back to seat now!! thanks.

    Neel3,
    Just catching up with pending work!!!

    Praneshachar,
    Glad you laughed it out.

  10. Vani says:

    How was your vacation?

    Monday Blues aa? Welcome back after the break ! ๐Ÿ™‚

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