Travel trials

Recently was out travelling on official business – Just like some people have Impossible removed from their dictionaries, I have or rather been forced to remove the word Vacations from my dictionary!

It was quite a few years since I flew out and in the last few years – could see a change as huge as the gap between the income and expenses of a middle class family. The airport now resembles a railway station or bus stand – it has got the clutter of people, thier attitude and expressions – painted and printed.

People had sat around after security check and waiting to board the plane. A thick voice came with a bell sound and announced ‘ we regret to announce that flight IT 411 is delayed by‘ and in that instant a few people ran to the boarding counter with passes thrust out without even hearing or understanding what was being announced.

The flight agent had to repeatedly tell people and regret the delay by 10 minutes.

This repeated one more time, much to the amusement of a few people. These gents and ladies looked educated to understand english atleast. I could only blame the old phillips speakers which changed the tone and tenor of a Lata to high pitch sqwacking of unoiled hinges of doors.

Finally the call came and people queued up – a pleasent sight it was. Myself waited so that everybody would board and I can do the same later at my comfort. I can understand if the seats are unreserved or space would not be available for stowing away hand baggage, there is a need to hurry and try to get the best seat. But here, due to rules only one hand baggage was allowed and still our people out of shear practice hurried to board the plane.

I missed the good days when Ladies with children, Aged people, Families and singles were asked to board in that order!

It was a pain for me to see and hear what the flight agent was doing. He did it some 47 times before I lost count. He wished a very happy flight after checking the boarding pass for every customer. Poor chap – he looked very young. We say our jobs are boring and repetative. Imagine him saying this atleast 368 times and 3 times a day. Thats not for me! It was noticable a few passengers atleast mumbled something like a thank you.

On entry to the aircraft we got plastic smiles and welcome aboard statement. Here again was a sign language statement with no feelings behind. It was just a thankless job for those hostess – literally.

I had concluded that the cost of cloth at bangalore itself was quite high and was confirmed it was expensive and beyond reach of every hostess based on the lesser amount worn by them. Times are changing mohan, life is getting expensive!

Most airport turmacs resemble the busy ring roads of a urban city. The flights are queued up for takeoff or landing akin to bumper to bumper traffic. It was a pathetic sight for the captian to wait 30 minutes after taxying. Thank god atleast the touch down did not have ariel tours of the city.

Printed tickets have been replaced by e-tickets. I dont have the colourfull ticket booklet which i would read like a novel end to end just for the fun and heck of it. The most important part was the warsaw pact – what ever it meant.

Atleast the flights have banned smoking and serving liquour on domestic sectors. Thank god for small mercies. Security was still a misnomer. I travelled on the name of Mohan Kumar!!


18 Responses to Travel trials

  1. rk says:

    I could only blame the old phillips speakers which changed the tone and tenor of a Lata to high pitch sqwacking of unoiled hinges of doors

    you are too good! love your posts, mohan kumar (thank god it was not MOHAN KO MAR!)

  2. shark says:

    LOL! Yes people have become more affluent now to afford frequent air travles, but they haven;t changed much!

    Few weeks back I was going to Delhi and as usual our flight got delayed and they served some breakfast in the airport. You would expect a nice queue and all…? Nopes it was just like a railway station one shouting, one puching one “stealing”… all for a cold sandwich and coffee!

    Little off the topic, BUT I heard an interesting conversation next to me. I assume they were husband and wife since they were talking about house and all… but the woman was not wearing any mark of marraige. Anyway that’s not the point. I digress!

    Wife : What pathetic food in the name of breakfast they gave us! I can make better sandwiches than those

    Man : Hmmm

    Wife: Do you think we switched off all the lights in the house? We won’t be back for a week.

    Man : Not sure.

    Wife : I hope you packed the extra sweaters I told you yesterday night after I slept off? It’s quite cold in Delhi now.

    Man : I will manage.

    Wife : Can we make it Agra atleast this time we are there? I really want to see Taj.

    Man : Lets see.

    Wife : I hope your mother will treat me well atleast this time. Last time she made such sarcastic comments about everything that I did!

    Man : Hmmmm

    Wife (Now visibly upset by the monosyllable answers of her husband) : The airhostess who just passed us …..

    Man : Her name is Aishwarya, Last time when I went to Chennai, she was there in that flight. She speaks so nicely you know. And she knows very good english.. quite a bit of American Accent also… and man what legs she has…. I even complemented her and she smiled so sweetly at me…blah..blah….

    P.S: All the wife wanted to say was that girl had nice hair… but her husband seemed to know much much more 😉

    P.P.S: I think that guy should thank me! If I was not sitting next to them, his wife would have killed him then and there!

    Sorry for the long comment ! Swalpa adjust maadi 🙂

  3. Vijay says:

    Mohan: Great post.. I agree that the Airport is a lot more crowded… I think its only a matter of time before they get their own stoves and start cooking like on the railway platforms…

    Shark: Good One… wonder what happened to him AFTER the flight…

  4. […] Fight (of a different kind) on the Flight Mohan’s post on flying takes me back to 1999 when I was on a trip to Delhi on an Indian Airlines flight. I was in the […]

  5. bachodi says:

    You are giving very few information in king rooster feeds. With one or two sentences available in the feed reader, I can’t make out what topics you have written.
    (sorry for off-topic comment )

  6. M O H A N says:

    Bachodi sir,
    What to do. When ever I use the “More” option so that concise information is present in the page, the feed readers drop dead there!! I rather welcome you to visit the site again!

  7. This is just superb.

    Shark : LOL at ur comment 😉

  8. praneshachar says:

    nice one it is true once an air travel was a luxury
    now times have changed and airports have become like
    railway stations.
    during our school days to see a aeroplane was a news

    good one ROFTL

  9. Prashanth M says:

    What a narration!! super saar….

    lol @ Shark’s comment…

  10. greatunknown says:

    Excellent narrative!

  11. some body says:


    good one. in our countries, queues are like rivers. the destination like the ocean. just like a river has tributaries, so does the desi queue with queuelets [tm] coming in from all directions. most queues end in a big delta much like the sunderbans!
    *fighting hard to prevent comments from veering off towards the world cup debacle*

    vijay says: “Shark: Good One… wonder what happened to him AFTER the flight…”

    maybe he should participate in the ‘survivor – all stars’ reality show?


    vijay went and spawned off a post of his own. given your low posting quotient, you should similarly have cut and pasted your entire comment into your own blog! 😉

    what marriage sign do you want the woman to wear? a cross? 😉 [don’t know if that is a politically correct comment, especially today, so nail me!]

    – s.b.

  12. greatunknown says:

    Hey Mohan… how come you don’t visit my blog these days? Bored with the content?

  13. TSSM says:

    No wonder the planes are called ‘Air Bus’ and the service ‘Air Taxis’. Wonder when ‘Air Autos’ will land to make the ‘flight’ really a ‘plight’. Air travellers have become ‘passengers’. The day may not be far off ,when ‘standing passengers’ are allowed too.

    It also reminds me of the days when we could buy tickets at 3.15 pm for the 3.30 pm english movies at the cantonment- Rex, Lido, Plaza, Imperial, Galaxy, BRV et al.

    Shark- good piece!!! Decency might have prevented the lady from taking immediate action, but that would not have saved the hubby (?) from the ‘treatment’ he deserved (?),for his folly. Delhi might have felt like
    ‘ Ramagundam /Adiramapatnam’ in summer, to him.

  14. RK sir,
    Am afraid now-a-days to even write comments. What happens if its MOHAN-KO-MAR? Please please bear with me!

    Good description but the poor chap by now would have had it – believe me. But on positives if I were to be his spouse, would forgive him. Simple – He atleast had the guts to tell her the truth (hic!) and after all its a vacation which should not be spoilt at all.

    At the rates even the 2 star hotels are hiking food rates, these days should not be very far off. Add the weather factor and you have a very good business proposition there. How about used bricks for sale at airports 🙂

    Bachodi sir,
    Have recieved your email. Now am feeling very guilty. To clense all those guilty feelings going to varanasi soon

    Srik, praneshachar,Prashanth,TSSM sir, Somebody
    Thanks for the comments.

    Time is Money. I have very less money is a confession.

  15. What a valid post. I enjoy reading the posts on this site and will be sure to return on a regular basis.

  16. Joanne Graham,
    Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks.

  17. Hotel Break Stop

    Thanks, Interesting read.

  18. Hotel Break Checker

    Thanks, Interesting read.

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