Driving Rules

Here are some tips for driving in the urban jungal of Bangalore. Readers are encouraged to add on to enrich the knowledge so that a Wiki can be created.

  • Do not honk at pedestrians while driving a 2 wheeler on foot paths.
  • You need to drive on the wrong side of the road,oneway – No problem. Just switch on your headlights and drive. All incoming traffic will understand and wait for you to pass. At night you just drive since the lights are already ON.
  • Want to stop at No Parking/Stopping roads? Simple switch on all the lights ( a special lever) which blinks the indicators – indicating the vehicle has broken down while you wait for you better part to finish shopping and you save parking fees too.
  • Does your vehicle have week brakes? NO issue. Just use the horns instead.
  • Want to confuse some autowallah? Just overtake him and use hand signal properly – signalling left turn – most of them get confused as they just put out their left hand to signal left turn. The auto rules are simple. They put out their right hand for right signal and left for a left turn.
  • Overtaking should be preceeded by feverish honking, glaring. The intencity and velocity of the same is directly proportional to the number of college girls in Bus and inversly proportional to the brand new bikes cost.
  • Want to have some fun with other drivers? Just double park your 4 wheeler such that no body can move out of the parking lot unless the Lord decides and agrees to free other vehicles.
  • Know your neighbour. An auto has a simple principle of driving. If the front wheels can go, back wheels can go too.
Advertisements

18 Responses to Driving Rules

  1. pegasus says:

    unfortunately most of them are tru

  2. Veena says:

    Last but one… ayyo devare just so true…!
    Good list for bangaloreans… πŸ™‚

  3. hilarious stuff!!

    put a left hand for left turn and right hand for right turn πŸ˜€

    One thing I wanted to add to the above list :
    If you are a pedestrian, then wear a helmet πŸ˜‰

  4. Cuckoo says:

    Good one !! All are true not only for Bangaloreans but for all Indians.

  5. bachodi says:

    One related joke :
    A politician was addressing a gathering, he was recalling great leader

    β€œHe had one aim, to reach the goal, no matter how many obstacles no matter how many trouble. He believed in one dream, to reach the Manzil he wanted to achieve. He kicked a** of all those came in his way. Broke all his rules. Defined new limits of speed … β€œ

    Gives a pause and β€œyou know what I am talking about?”

    One voice heard from the last row β€œ Yes Saaar , …. About a Bangalore Auto driver”

  6. rk says:

    back with a bang mohan! really good tips.
    thanks for the joke bachodi.

  7. Bachodi,
    Thanks – enjoyed your joke.

    RK,
    Thanks for commentu.

    Cuckoo,
    Very recently was observing this in Bombay, People are the same all over.

    Srik,
    Glad you enjoyed it. In Chennai auto drivers use their leg to signal turns. I didnt belive this initially but found one driver doing this on mount road!

    Veena, Pegasus
    Thanks for comments. Most of us can match our frustartions in atleast one of those accounts!

  8. Vijay says:

    Saw an auto driver signalling right.. then suddenly he put his hand out and made a “cross” (into) sign… I pulled up next to him and asked him what that signal was.. he told me he was cancelling his earlier sign πŸ™‚

  9. Vijay,
    ROTFL, that was too much. Cancellation of signal! RTO should be updated.

  10. shark says:

    mohan: How could you forget a two wheeler riders way of signalling? Atleast the auto drivers are better off.. they show some hand at least!

    – All two wheeler riders have to do is look back twice on whichever side they are turning, people coming behind him will understand that he is going to make a turn now…

    – Also honk as much as possible in a traffic jam… maybe the jam will clear all by itself just to get away from all the honking.

    – NEVER wait till the signal turns green, as long as the path is clear just GO! Reverse also true.. never stop at RED if the path is clear.. who has the time anyways!

    Vijay:
    ROFTL!!!! That was just too much….:-) what cancelling and all huh?

  11. M O H A N says:

    Pegasus,
    What striking resembelence. Yes, this is the common way of driving in India.

    Shark,
    Hip swaying bikers as my friend pranav calls them are a breed of their own! Their deeds and misdeeds somehow missed me – er am one too πŸ™‚

  12. Vani says:

    Mohan, apt post……specially at jams, people honk like nobody’s business…..and the glares…oh my……there were rishis in our puraaNas who could turn people to ashes by merely looking at them….these go one step farther…..

    Cancellation of signals….now that’s a good one….;-)

  13. Prashanth M says:

    hilarious stuff…

    and to add to this –
    * Never ride/drive behind an auto, you never know which direction its gonna move.
    * Never be in front of a BTS bus (at least for 2 wheelers), they travel at lightening speed whenevr there is one in font πŸ˜›

  14. praneshachar says:

    mohan good one
    vijay
    cancellation of signal !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wah wah
    I will narrate one similar case not for traffic signall
    every hour the time used to be indicated in our Tahsildar office by ringinging a bell. like in school a big bell with a rod to hit was used.
    during holy one night we were near the tahsidars office and it was 11 PM in the night. the attendant started hitting the rod on the bell we were counting and he hit twelve and stopped and spit on his hand and washed the bell and again hit eleven we were amazed at this and asked why he hit 23 he said yen swami nanelli 23 hodde 12 admele teepagitei anth gurthaitu adannu alisi matte 11 hodde antha samjayishi kott navella freinds ran ran away matte yelldru tappaitu antha gante hodilikkee shuru madi bittrek ashta antha. namagella nakku nakku hotte huunnaitu ashte

  15. Vani,
    L0L, Durvasha munis keen eyesight destroyed Urban humankind is a hillarious heading for media!

    Prashanth,
    Pearls of wisdom here πŸ˜‰

    Praneshachar,
    So we have cancellations there too!!! I wonder how judiciary can cancel its mistake whan a wrong person is hanged till death!

  16. Prashanth M says:

    And Autos are usually compared to Cats. A cat can pass through a hole however small if its skull passes through it. Similarly auto can pass through a gap, if its headlight passes through it πŸ˜›

  17. neel3 says:

    What a post!!
    What comments!!
    enjoyed both.
    Please come to Goa. Here the culprits are the private city buses.They stop whenever a dog wags its tail.You can drive behind them at your own peril.Most buses halt as soon as they take a blind turn .The vehicle behind it HAS to bump into it if its driver is following lane courtesies.To avoid bumping,one has to overtake from left,hoping alighting passengers know how to dodge two-wheelers near the pavement.
    Pedestrians are not blameless either.They moonwalk on highways.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: